No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
