In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize