haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
