Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
