Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize