please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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