I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
