walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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