omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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