his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
