Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
