I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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