After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Holy shit dude........stairs
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
