btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
