This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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