he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
