we should wear snuggies to the strip club
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
