i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
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I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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