I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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