Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!