If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
