ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Randomize
