Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm both gender and math confused
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