Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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