Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
