I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
