Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back

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(732): the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back http://tfl.nu/90ja

Replies (3) Good night (1925) Bad night (775)
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(+27): View more from South Africa

I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.

(+27): View more from South Africa

I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.

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(+27): I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake. (+27): I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better. http://tfl.nu/rfir

Replies (39) Good night (4342) Bad night (1681)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.

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(508): My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that. http://tfl.nu/cfj7

Replies (7) Good night (3506) Bad night (1233)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.

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(330): Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge. http://tfl.nu/j5wy

Replies (8) Good night (4502) Bad night (1045)
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(312): View more from Illinois

I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.

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(312): I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish. http://tfl.nu/bqr4

Replies (5) Good night (2224) Bad night (785)
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(757): View more from Virginia

He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat

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(757): He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat http://tfl.nu/9wfo

Replies (7) Good night (3039) Bad night (1073)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.

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(715): She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee. http://tfl.nu/wutx

Replies (7) Good night (1851) Bad night (1025)
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(325): View more from Texas

You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...

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(325): You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis... http://tfl.nu/1zk4

Replies (6) Good night (1221) Bad night (1081)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.

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(615): I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause. http://tfl.nu/2yit

Replies (8) Good night (1908) Bad night (1121)
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(708): View more from Illinois

Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this

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(708): Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this http://tfl.nu/2xjb

Replies (4) Good night (708) Bad night (1572)
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(718): View more from New York

With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult

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(718): With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult http://tfl.nu/nn1s

Replies (7) Good night (805) Bad night (500)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it

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(267): Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it http://tfl.nu/yaso

Replies (0) Good night (410) Bad night (622)
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(775): View more from Nevada

You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.

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(775): You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood. http://tfl.nu/925d

Replies (8) Good night (757) Bad night (391)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?

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(313): Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim? http://tfl.nu/tmf7

Replies (1) Good night (708) Bad night (324)
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(705): View more from Ontario

The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.

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(705): The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for. http://tfl.nu/rc5u

Replies (0) Good night (486) Bad night (137)

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