Texts From Last Night

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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?

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  (856): My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do? http://tfl.nu/j1dk
  Replies (52) Good night (787) Bad night (2253)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.

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  (508): billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down. http://tfl.nu/h3l0
  Replies (11) Good night (1246) Bad night (3674)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.

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  (610): No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends. http://tfl.nu/ox60
  Replies (72) Good night (10284) Bad night (895)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.

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  (410): we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us. http://tfl.nu/tnpc
  Replies (26) Good night (8112) Bad night (768)
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  (925): View more from California

  just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)

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  (925): just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :) http://tfl.nu/2ogg
  Replies (38) Good night (2046) Bad night (7103)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes

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  (405): i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes http://tfl.nu/6w2z
  Replies (10) Good night (5626) Bad night (1215)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.

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  (608): Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again. http://tfl.nu/9jrz
  Replies (18) Good night (7516) Bad night (1280)
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  (631): View more from New York

  we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms

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  (631): we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms http://tfl.nu/2gis
  Replies (6) Good night (3245) Bad night (1098)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?

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  (414): could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor? http://tfl.nu/bpu5
  Replies (9) Good night (1544) Bad night (1021)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over

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  (908): You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over http://tfl.nu/or3u
  Replies (2) Good night (2438) Bad night (690)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding

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  (503): We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding http://tfl.nu/3uk9
  Replies (8) Good night (757) Bad night (1743)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....

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  (317): I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it.... http://tfl.nu/0a1o
  Replies (8) Good night (1680) Bad night (541)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.

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  (267): I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads. http://tfl.nu/108g
  Replies (4) Good night (1127) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.

  (1-952): View more from Minnesota

  No shame December is a go.

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  (952): Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina. (1-952): No shame December is a go. http://tfl.nu/ilc6
  Replies (3) Good night (1166) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..

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  (315): New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own.. http://tfl.nu/1bvs
  Replies (5) Good night (395) Bad night (615)

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