Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"

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  (646): A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!" http://tfl.nu/psh2
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  (917): View more from New York City

  It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.

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  (917): It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay. http://tfl.nu/aq98
  Replies (14) Good night (477) Bad night (2892) Order T-Shirt
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  where are my pants?

  (1-219): View more from Indiana

  you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm

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  (219): where are my pants? (1-219): you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm http://tfl.nu/h936
  Replies (14) Good night (4746) Bad night (564) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.

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  (508): Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated. http://tfl.nu/vtpc
  Replies (40) Good night (1282) Bad night (3522) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.

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  (512): We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment. http://tfl.nu/imr3
  Replies (43) Good night (1575) Bad night (5363) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell

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  (270): I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell http://tfl.nu/jfse
  Replies (17) Good night (5706) Bad night (891) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.

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  (404): What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs. http://tfl.nu/w7nv
  Replies (18) Good night (4414) Bad night (1027) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!

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  (570): someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?! http://tfl.nu/6u5e
  Replies (12) Good night (4088) Bad night (757) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped

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  (319): Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped http://tfl.nu/i5o2
  Replies (33) Good night (1255) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?

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  (205): So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life? http://tfl.nu/xark
  Replies (6) Good night (438) Bad night (1354)
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  (559): View more from California

  Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.

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  (559): Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face. http://tfl.nu/ufsv
  Replies (10) Good night (477) Bad night (1495) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?

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  (508): i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now? http://tfl.nu/8a2l
  Replies (8) Good night (1366) Bad night (369) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.

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  (407): Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me. http://tfl.nu/bdw0
  Replies (1) Good night (649) Bad night (280) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.

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  (650): Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some. http://tfl.nu/6y08
  Replies (5) Good night (1578) Bad night (367) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far

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  (407): I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far http://tfl.nu/ylx6
  Replies (1) Good night (654) Bad night (168) Order T-Shirt

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