Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.