Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is

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  (503): I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is http://tfl.nu/t4n0
  Replies (26) Good night (1026) Bad night (4141)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room

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  (609): im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room http://tfl.nu/jxea
  Replies (22) Good night (752) Bad night (4239)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated

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  (540): we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated http://tfl.nu/hyb4
  Replies (17) Good night (5327) Bad night (1673)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....

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  (803): The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german.... http://tfl.nu/l2d8
  Replies (42) Good night (13001) Bad night (1067)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...

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  (717): She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands... http://tfl.nu/ij5g
  Replies (42) Good night (883) Bad night (6638)
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  (310): View more from California

  I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.

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  (310): I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet. http://tfl.nu/z51s
  Replies (15) Good night (7801) Bad night (889)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.

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  (413): Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again. http://tfl.nu/hakk
  Replies (3) Good night (1614) Bad night (2367)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.

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  (850): He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville. http://tfl.nu/tme9
  Replies (20) Good night (1071) Bad night (2545)
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  (473): View more from Grenada-Carib

  Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.

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  (473): Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year. http://tfl.nu/y5js
  Replies (11) Good night (2398) Bad night (985)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.

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  (985): Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world. (504): That's so nerdy and hot at the same time. http://tfl.nu/tw1i
  Replies (2) Good night (2404) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.

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  (612): Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C. http://tfl.nu/wowt
  Replies (2) Good night (848) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.

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  (561): So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure. http://tfl.nu/8h8j
  Replies (1) Good night (772) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU

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  (860): I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU http://tfl.nu/1s1y
  Replies (3) Good night (798) Bad night (370)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.

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  (412): Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it. http://tfl.nu/10d1
  Replies (6) Good night (1103) Bad night (585)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!

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  (614): I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit! http://tfl.nu/68by
  Replies (3) Good night (684) Bad night (447)

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