You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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