i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
