I think I won the penis lottery.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
