So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
