Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
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Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
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I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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