He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
