No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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