she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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