She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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