I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I will be naked everywhere
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
