seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
