this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
My ATM looks so different sober.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
