I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
