I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
