i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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