you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
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She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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