Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
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