My balls are so social today.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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