At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If I die, sorry about rent.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
