Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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