i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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