If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
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Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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