Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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