Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
