There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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