the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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