He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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