ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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