Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Ladies don't puke and tell
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
