return my video game
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
