do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
