I bet he comes in French.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
