She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
