shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize